


Guidance

by poisonedapple



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6961153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonedapple/pseuds/poisonedapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vox Machina depends on Pike to guide them but Pike is just as lost as they are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guidance

**Author's Note:**

> Major spoilers for episodes 44 and 50, takes place in episode 53 at about 2:48:14

“Badass Hands Smasher the First?”

Pike blinks in surprise as she discovers her friends all looking at her. Pike is tired; her body aches and she wants nothing more to sink into the luxurious bed awaiting her upstairs in Scanlan's mansion, but then all of them are tired and ache and have pressing matters to discuss – about whether or not they'll be joining Grog's old herd and fighting Umbrasyl or if Vox Machina will be fleeing Westrun.

“That's you, Pike.” Scanlan prods her with a teasing smile.

“That's me!” She agrees with a chuckle and raises her gauntlet covered fists playfully before dropping them back to her sides and falling silent for a long moment as they all look to her in hope. Vax and Grog and all the rest have all confided in her at one time or another – whether in person or letter or otherwise – that Vox Machina need her there for guidance, that they are lost without her.

She doesn't know how to tell them she doesn't know any more than they about what she's doing. In fact, sometimes Pike thinks they've got it backwards. They're all growing and finding their own ways with themselves as well as with each other, much as they struggle and feel lost and unsure of themselves – they are all of them getting somewhere while Pike finds herself stagnating all too far away from them.

Pike is meant to be right where she is, except much of the time lately… where she is meant to be is not where she wants to be: with Vox Machina.

She's falling behind them all in skill and power and moreover she is missing from them whenever they need her most, like when Vex had died. It should have been Pike to bring her back – and she ought to have been there to heal her, to prevent it from even happening. And then Pike had been so out of practice that she'd almost missed being able to save Grog and by the time she had pulled herself together she'd only had seconds before losing Grog for good.

Yet now all six of them are looking patiently at her, expectant. The worst part is that none of them are expecting her to agree with them, and yet they look to her in absolute trust in her judgment. Somehow, Pike knows that her vote could easily determine their course of action, that they'll be swayed by her choice because they've placed more trust in her than she has in herself.

Except Pike doesn't know what the right choice is – she could either she forsakes a town of innocent people or she push her friends into a battle none of them are prepared to fight.

Pike doesn't have an answer and yet they are all looking to her for one.

“I'm having trouble,” the words stumbles out of her mouth after a long moment. She turns and nudges Grog, “What are you thinking?”

Grog is caught off guard, as are they all and for a moment Pike fears her friends might tailspin into uncertainty and disaster.

As Grog slowly speaks his piece, Pike's hands find her holy symbol and she clutches it hard in her hands and she prays to Sarenrae for guidance – for Vox Machina and herself.

'Tell me how to guide them,' she prays, 'Please, let me stay by their side.'

**Author's Note:**

> ...and then two seconds later Scanlan proposes lmao
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with this piece and didn't come out how I planned but I haven't been able to write in a couple months so I'm pleased that I've managed to write at the very least. I've spent the better part of the month watching the entire series and now I cannot believe I've gotta wait more than a week for the next. Like man, I got used to just being able to go to the next episode after a cliffhanger. What the fresh hell is this. I don't like it lol.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading!


End file.
